


i'm the hero of the story (don't need to be saved)

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: this could be good (love is patient, love is kind) [11]
Category: Power Rangers, Power Rangers Samurai
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Emily takes no one's shit, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jayden Has A Hard Time With Feelings, Jayden-centric, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Traditions, also also, also i wrote all of this today, also never mentioned in the story but Mia's Soulmate is Lauren, and is the voice of reason amongst this team, but i have plans for at least seven different power rangers series, but to be honest all four boy Samurai Rangers have that problem, god bless, i really need to stop actually expanding this 'verse, in which i wrap ALL of the Power Rangers into this Soulmate 'verse, so strap in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 10:17:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16532657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: Please stop writing to me,Jayden writes when he’s eight and crying and training to be the best Red Ranger he can. He can’t let down Mentor Ji and his father and his sister.I’m going to be a Samurai Ranger. I can’t get distracted.I won’t give up on you,Antonio promises, but he does stop writing.-Life goes on like normal. Everyone pretends that Emily’s arms aren’t covered in Marks, like Jayden hasn’t admitted that somewhere out there is a Soulmate he rejected, like their skin is not aching for ink, like the world is not constantly crashing down around their ears-And then the Gold Ranger shows up, and Jayden prays. He doesn’t know what he’s praying for, exactly, whether he does or doesn’t want the person under the mask to be who he thinks it is.-Antonio doesn’t break any of his promises. He never wrote to Jayden, and he came back as a Ranger. The first Samurai Ranger not from the main bloodlines. It should have been impossible.(But Antonio doesn’t seem to understand the word impossible.)





	i'm the hero of the story (don't need to be saved)

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "Hero" by Regina Spektor.

_Her eyes look sharp and steady_

_Into the empty parts of me_

_Still my heart is heavy_

_With the hate of some other man's beliefs_

**_-Hozier,_ Foreigner's God**

 

 

 _Please stop writing to me,_ Jayden writes on his arm when he’s eight and crying and training to be the best Red Ranger he can. He can’t let down Mentor Ji and his father and his sister. _I’m going to be a Samurai Ranger. I can’t get distracted._

_(I can’t care too much about you, because if I care too much, I might let the whole world fall before I let go of you.)_

_I won’t give up on you,_ Antonio's Marks promise, but he does stop writing. He stops asking Jayden how he’s doing, ask Jayden what it’s like to be a Ranger, stops even writing encouragements.

-

Sometimes, Jayden finds a stray doodle of a _kanji_ or an octopus, tucked either against his inner elbow or on his shin, far enough back to be covered by the training uniforms or the ceremonial kimono he wears to Council meetings.

(Despite all of his self-control, despite all the rules and the things he could lose because of it, he sometimes finds himself in bed at night, fingers tracing over the Marks.)

-

Kevin, Mike, Mia, and Emily arrive, all but Kevin wearing short sleeves. Emily’s arms are covered in purple and red Marks- Mike and Mia’s are bare.

They don’t talk about it. They never talk about it, even when Kevin silently switches from long sleeves to the short-sleeved training uniform, when Emily’s Marks are sometimes joined by her own golden-orange ink, when a small octopus doodle appears on the inside of Jayden's elbow.

It’s not something Samurai mention. So they don’t.

-

Well, that’s not entirely true. Soulmates are brought up one- and _only_ once, on a night where Ji has gone to spend the weekend at the Council. They’re all drunk on a bottle of _sake_ that Mike snuck in and lips are certainly looser than they would normally be.

“Do any of you know what are your Soulmates are like?” Mia asks, staring up at the ceiling from her position laying on the carpet.

“I dunno,” Mike says, hanging partially off of the couch, his butt and legs on the cushions with his back and head on the floor. “I wrote when I was little, but my Soulmate never responded. So after a couple of years, I stopped writing. Never looked back.” His muttered addition is clearly not meant to be heard by the group, but he says it a bit louder than he means to: “At least, I tried not to.”

“I’ve never written to mine,” Kevin says from his spot next to Mike. He sits with an arm casually laid across the back of the sofa and over the top of Mike's feet. “If I even have one. The Samurai Code says that loyalty to the Shiba line and the Power Rangers trumps all Soulmate connections, so from a very young age I swore off my Soulmate. I always wore long sleeves as a child, thus removing the temptation of a Soulmate by never checking under my sleeves. Now, as a Samurai, there is no writing.”

“The only writing I’ve ever had on my arm was someone’s practice _kanji_ when I was a toddler,” Mia says, “And then it disappeared by the time I was five. So my Soulmate’s probably dead. But I’ve gotten used to it, and it has worked out rather well for my duty.” Emily holds out a hand to Mia, and the Pink Ranger gratefully takes it.

“I met mine,” Jayden admits from the armchair, voice hushed, and he can feel their eyes on him. “When I was five.”

“I thought that you lived here by yourself since your father’s Sealing Symbol failed,” Kevin says, sounding genuinely shocked.

“I did. But when I was a kid, for just a little while, things were a bit more lax. I made friends with one of the local kids, the son of a fisherman. I played with him after training every day for a couple of months.

Then, after just a few months of knowing each other, his father moved away, and he went with his father. For about a year or two I kept contact, but I felt guilty. I knew that it was my duty as a Samurai Ranger to focus on my training and not my Soulmate, so eventually I wrote to him that I couldn’t let him distract me. I asked him not to write to me anymore, and he didn’t. And that was that.”

“One of my Soulmates is a Power Ranger,” Emily says, and all heads whip in her direction. Her voice is much stronger than it usually is. “A Red, to be accurate. And he doesn’t understand the Samurai Way. And I, despite being raised in our way, don’t always get it either. Doesn’t it just make us better Rangers, if we have a reason to defend the world?”

“We’re good Rangers because of the honor of the Code,” Kevin says, matter-of-fact. “Soulmates are a distraction. If we focus on them or get distracted during battle, even for one second too long, then we could fall to the Nighlok. And we can’t risk that.”

“Well, I love Mack and Kendall,” Emily says, “ _And_ I’m a good Samurai. My sister was the same way, with her Soulmate Claire. She would have been a good Ranger, would have done her duty well. My Soulmates make me stronger, not weaker.”

Jayden’s mouth is dry. What Emily is saying is bordering on traitorous, but it is hard to argue with her when her voice is so firm, her words so confident for the first time since he’s met her. For years, the only way he could justify his treatment of Antonio was the idea that it was necessary in order to keep the world safe. And if he didn't have to do that, could have lived a happy life with his Soulmate...

“I care about you guys, too,” Emily continues, eyes soft. “How are you not distractions during battle, but my Soulmate could be?”

He takes a deep breath. He won’t begrudge Emily her happiness, even if it breaks the rules. But he, the Red Ranger, has to have better self-control. He has to protect the world until Lauren comes back with the Sealing Symbol. Giving up Antonio was a necessary sacrifice.

“No more talk of Soulmates after tonight,” Jayden declares, “We can’t let ourselves get distracted. Emily, I’m not going to forbid you from your Marks. Just...don’t talk about them, okay?”

Emily looks like she wants to argue, but he is her Red, the presumptive Lord Shiba, and so she doesn’t.

-

Life goes on like normal. Everyone pretends that Emily’s arms aren’t covered in Marks, like Jayden hasn’t admitted that somewhere out there is a Soulmate he rejected, like their skin is not aching for ink, like the world is not constantly crashing down around their ears-

And then the Gold Ranger shows up, and Jayden prays. He doesn’t know what he’s praying for, exactly, whether he does or doesn’t want the person under the mask to be who he thinks it is.

-

Then the Gold Ranger DeMorphs, and Jayden can’t pretend anymore. He is staring his Soulmate directly in the eyes, ten years after he last saw him.

“I just came to help because of all the Nighloks showing up,” Antonio- because damn, that’s Antonio, after all these years. “Guys, I’m on your side. Tell ‘em, Jay,” Antonio says, looking Jayden straight in the eye, and it’s basically a dare. Jayden’s never been one for dares, but Antonio has always been different from anyone else in Jayden’s life.

“Is it really you, Antonio?” Jayden asks, because maybe he’s just imagining. Maybe Antonio is still only a part of his childhood, a memory Jayden put aside when he was eight years old. Maybe this is some man who is pretending to be his Soulmate, the boy he loved, the dreams turned into nightmares of loss.

“Hah!” Antonio shouts, “I knew you would remember me!” As if Jayden could forget his Soulmate, forget the tears he cried at age eight, telling Antonio not to write to him. As if he could forget a lifetime of self-control, of denial, of pushing away thoughts of Antonio because _that’s not what a Samurai can think of-_

“I can’t believe it’s really you,” Jayden says quietly.

“Believe it baby, I’m back!” Antonio shouts, brushing past the other Rangers to stand in front of Jayden. He shows off a couple of moves- and damn, he has perfect form, how in the name of the First Samurai- before ending right in front of Jayden. “And I’m ready for some action!”

Antonio didn’t break any of his promises. He never wrote _to_ Jayden, and he came back as a Ranger. The _first_ Samurai Ranger not from the main bloodlines. It should have been impossible.

(But Antonio doesn’t seem to understand the word impossible.)

Antonio strikes out with a quick blow. Their hands connect, palm to fist, and Antonio’s gaze is hard. Jayden understands- the last time he wrote to Antonio, he told him to not speak to him again- but there is something about this that makes him feel alive in ways he has not felt since he was six years old. Sparring feels natural, like all the energy and emotions Jayden’s been holding back for the past ten years are finally finding a place to escape.

Every strike is a barely checked blow to the heart, and Jayden can in no way deny he’s earned this anger. He  _knows_ he has, just as much as he knows there was nothing else he could have done instead.

He just wishes- oh, damn it all, Jayden doesn't know what he wishes. He just knows, deep within him, that this- sparring with Antonio, his Soulmate- is the best sparring match he's ever had. And maybe that's messed up, but Jayden doesn't care.

-

(Oh, Jayden _knows_ that he is only courting destruction by allowing Antonio on the team. There are only so many ways that this could end, and all the ones Jayden can imagine end in tragedy.

But Antonio is a great warrior, and has an innovative mind, and makes the perfect Samurai. And they need another Ranger on the team.

So he stays, and Jayden deals.)

- 

His teammates all have varying reactions to Antonio’s addition to the team.

 

“You gave him the Octozord?” Kevin asks, disbelieving.

“I was six,” Jayden says, “And look- he and the Octozord work really well together, and you can't deny that he's good at what he does." Because oh, Antonio's more than good, he's fantastic, but Jayden can't be partial to anyone. That's not what a leader would do.

 

“He’s your Soulmate, isn’t he?” Mia asks quietly as they’re sparring, and Jayden doesn’t respond, but he knows that she knows. The whole team knows, he's pretty sure. How else would some kid get ahold of a Zord that has always belonged to the Shiba family?

 

"Why haven't you talked to him about it?" Emily asks him one night after Antonio has gone down to the docks to fish.

"Why would I?" Jayden asks, warning edge to his voice. "I am the Red Ranger- I cannot let a Soulmate get in the way of my duty."

"Neither of you are happy without each other," Emily says, and for a moment, Jayden feels bad about the fact that he is depriving Antonio of happiness. But then he thinks about the world again, about all the lives that could be lost if Xandred won, and he shakes his head.

"The world is more important than any individual's happiness," he says.

  
Kevin and Antonio come back from a battle, joking like friends, and Jayden can't help but notice the way Antonio is holding his injured wrist. Mike looks Jayden straight in the eyes and asks, "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Jayden asks, wishing he could hold Antonio like a Soulmate would.

"Because one of your teammates was injured while you weren't there," Mike says, as if Jayden's been treating Antonio like any member of the team. "And you normally have a problem with that."

"I'm fine," Jayden says, and Mike nods.

"Okay," he says, accepting Jayden's answer as fact, and Jayden's thankful for it.

-

Antonio is like the sun; Jayden knows he shouldn’t look, but he can’t help but stare because of just how glorious Antonio is. He is loud and brave and loyal and kind, and _everything_ Jayden can’t help but love.

But he can’t. Jayden wants more than he has any right to have, and he knows it.

-

The powder keg of tension explodes when Mia knocks over a bottle of _kanji_ ink during training. It spills all over Mike’s arm, causing much muttered cursing from the Green Ranger, and outside, a giant black stain appears on Kevin’s arm.

Jayden freezes at the sight on Kevin’s arm. “You have a Soulmate?” Jayden asks, and Kevin glances down.

“What the fuck?” Kevin shouts, dropping his practice staff.

“Oh my god,” Emily gasps from her spot on the bench.

“What’s going on?” Mia asks, poking her head outside. “I heard shouting.”

“Kevin has a Soulmate,” Emily says, almost proudly, as she gestures to Kevin’s arm, and Mia goes very, very pale. Mia’s jaw moves open and close without her speaking, almost like a broken puppet.

“Mia,” Jayden says, trying to keep his voice calm, “What just happened?”

“Mike just spilled ink on his arm,” she says, voice quiet, and Jayden hears a very quiet _oh no_ from Emily. He turns to find Kevin with his arm pulled tight against his chest, as much of the ink stain hidden as possible. Kevin looks very much like he wants to run, to hide, and Jayden understands him all too well.

And then the devil himself comes out of the door, scrubbing away at his arm with an old rag. “Thanks for not helping me clean up, Mia,” Mike grouses, “You’re _so_ helpful-” Then he looks up and at the rest of the Rangers, and catches sight of Kevin. Jayden can’t track the number of different emotions that flicker across Mike’s face in that moment, only recognizing the one that Mike eventually settles on: broken shock. “Kev?” Mike asks, voice small.

"I-" Kevin begins, but Jayden knows he doesn't know what to do. Kevin has built his entire life around being a Samurai, around never finding out who his Soulmate is. And it should have been easy- Kevin never checks his arm, never writes, wears only long sleeves outside of training. 

It shouldn't have been Mike. Anything would have been better for Kevin, emotionally, if it hadn't been Mike. He probably could have shrugged off any other accidental Bond reveal if it hadn't been Mike.

But in the end, it only makes sense. Mike and Kevin, after their initial clash, have settled into a strange balance. They work well together, Kevin's discipline balancing Mike's recklessnes and Mike's more fun-loving tendencies drawing Kevin more out of his shell. They've become good friends over the past year, getting closer and closer to each other in ways Jayden never could have hoped to with any of his teammates.

Jayden doesn't know if this will shatter their growing friendship or just make it grow stronger. He  _hopes_ that it will improve, but he knows how the world works. He's realistic about what happens when you combine being a Samurai with trying to be a good Soulmate.

"I-" Kevin says, and then swallows, refusing to look at any of them. "I have to go meditate." And then he leaves, breaking into a run in the direction of the forest and the river. 

"Follow him," Emily snaps at Mike, voice harsh, and Mike looks at her, eyes wide and somewhat lost. "Follow him, you fool, and figure things out."

Mike gives her a hasty nod before hurrying after Kevin and down to the river.

Antonio steps out onto the training grounds. “What’d I miss?”

Mia doesn’t say anything- she has plenty of tact, and she knows how sensitive the subject of Soulmates is around Jayden, and presumably Antonio, but Emily has no such tact. For such a usually kind and gentle person, Emily has an awful lot of strong emotions on Soulmates that cause her to say some harsher things than she normally would.

“Mike and Kevin are Soulmates,” Emily says, and Antonio’s normal grin slips away, replaced by something harsher, something colder, as he glances at Jayden.

“They are?” Antonio says, and Jayden nods. Antonio's expression softens slightly. "Well, good luck to them." It's not said with any sort of anger, just a sort of sincerity that makes Jayden's heart ache.

"Yeah," Jayden agrees, "Good luck to them." And he means it.

-  
  
Kevin and Mike return hours later, the stains gone from their arms.

They don't change the way they act with each other. They don't grow closer or farther away, don't start fighting or kissing randomly. They just...exist, as they always do, and Jayden wonders if they've just decided to postpone the whole Soulmate-thing until after the war with Xandred is over or if they're just choosing to not talk about it, like he and Antonio are.

Either way, he breathes a little bit of a sigh of relief. His team is still okay. He is still a good Red Ranger, for however much longer that may be.

-

Jayden is poisoned and captured, and Antonio is there. He is _always_ there, Jayden’s knight in shining golden armor. He is beautiful, and glorious, and the perfect Soulmate.

They stop briefly- because Antonio can't carry Jayden's weight all the way back to the Shiba House without at least one stop for rest.

“I’m sorry,” Jayden says, not looking at Antonio. He doesn't know how to look at Antonio, at his beautiful, knowing smile and sharp eyes.

"I always knew that you weren't going to be the perfect Soulmate, Jayden," Antonio says, and Jayden's heart doesn't know what to do. Does it halt, does it speed up, does it freeze? All he knows is that though he knows he deserves this, it still hurts. "You were in training to be a Samurai, and I knew the rules as well as you did. No Soulmates, no distractions, no friends. Just training. And I knew, as a kid, that the only way I was going to even be allowed to stay near you was if I became a Samurai Ranger, despite the pain that would come with it. So I did it. I became a Samurai Ranger, knowing that you didn't want me there as your Soulmate, because I needed you and you needed me."

"You are the  _perfect_ Soulmate," Jayden says, because nothing could be more true, and Antonio gives him a fond smile, something softer than any that have been directed at him in the past few weeks.

"No I'm not, because if I was, I would have stayed away like you asked. And I'm way too selfish for that."

"You're a good Ranger," Jayden says, "And we needed you on this team."

"You probably hate that, don't you?" Antonio says, "That you need me?" and to be honest, Jayden kinda does. He kind of wishes that Antonio had just stayed away, had lived a happy life on his own, instead of keeping his promises and training on his own and somehow come back as a Samurai Ranger.

(But then again, Jayden doesn't think Antonio would be the same infuriating Soulmate he is if he had broken that promise. Antonio was always going to come back, was always going to be in Jayden's life even if he had asked him to stay away.)

"I don't hate  _you_ ," Jayden says, because that's the truth. He could never hate Antonio, bright and funny and brave. Braver than he could ever be, to be sure. "You're my best friend." The last words come out quiet and young, like they've been stolen away from the mouth of his six-year-old self.

"And you're still mine too," Antonio says, "And instead of freezing each other out, maybe we can start from there." 

"That sounds nice," Jayden says, and he means it. He can't fully engage in a Soulmate relationship until Master Xandred is over, but a best friend? He thinks he can do that.

"Then let's get you back to the Shiba House to rest," Antonio says, and helps heft Jayden to his feet.

"Thank you," Jayden says, and he's thanking Antonio for a million things that he can't quite put into words.

"No problema, mi amigo," Antonio says with a wink.

And Jayden smiles right back.

**Author's Note:**

> So, uh, someone needs to stop me because I have notes for like _at least_ three more stories in this Soulmate 'verse? One for Jungle Fury, one crossover between Ninja Storm and Dino Charge, one for Mystic Force, and of course the continuation of the Dino Charge one? This wasn't supposed to happen. Please, seriously, someone save me from the ideas that keep invading my head. 
> 
> But anyway- hope you all enjoyed, and comments are, of course, a writer's lifeblood! The comments I got on my Power Rangers fics yesterday drove me to write this one, and motivate me to write more! Please comment and kudos if you liked it.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [my words are wrapped in barbwire (my actions speak for what I can't say)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17175374) by [aletterinthenameofsanity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity)




End file.
